Today I PR'd at my 13th half marathon. I PR'd despite humid and warm conditions. Despite the course being full of hills. Despite worries and concerns over things I could not control.
Training for Soaring Wings was... interesting. I was following the Runner's World Break 2 plan. It had 4-5 runs per week with one speed day and one long run. The other 2-3 runs were short and easy. It blew my mind. How can a plan that has me doing long runs at a 10:20-10:30 pace, get me to a sub 2 finishing time?? I wasn't actually following the plan so that I could break 2 this time around. I said that all through training. I just wanted to see what the plan was like. However, the closer the race got, the more I considered the goal of breaking 2 hours. I didn't want to commit to it though. I wanted perfect conditions for that goal. Even though, no race will ever have perfect conditions. But could I at least deal with weather OR elevation, and not both? lol
I didn't want to add pressure or psych myself out, so by this morning my goal was to finish, hopefully in the lower range of my previous finish times, with a sub goal of possibly breaking 2. I figured if I wasn't able to get under 2 hours, then then more than likely I wouldn't PR either. I was fine with whatever the outcome would be. Or so I thought.
We got to the start line and only had to wait about 10 minutes until the first wave started. I wanted to start with the 2 hour pacer and just see how things went. After a prayer, and the National Anthem, the first wave was sent off. Expected finishing times between 2:00-2:15 were in wave two, so we only waited about 2-3 minutes before it was our turn.
Being well acquainted with a course can be good, or bad. I'm not totally sure which I would prefer. This was my 8th time to do Soaring Wings. (Just two short of being a part of every race from the start. This was their 10th anniversary!) So I remember every hill, and every turn. It's sort of nice to know when to prepare for the big ones, but at the same time, anticipating the hills can be mentally exhausting. I tried very hard to stay in the moment from the very start. Mile by mile. Step by step. Shortly after one mile, Scott and I passed the pacers. I was feeling pretty good, but I didn't want to give it all I had right from the start. Especially knowing that the second half of this course is the hardest.
I have no idea how far behind me the two pacers were for the amount of time they were behind me, but I stayed ahead for a surprisingly long time. For the next 8+ miles I was in front. I tried to keep that thought in mind as I made my way through the course. There was little else for me to focus on. I had my music and I would sing along in my head if I needed a distraction. Mostly though, this was one of the quietest Soaring Wings races I have done. And it wasn't just because our regular supporters, my parents and kids, weren't able to make it. (Half way to the race their truck broke down :( ) The course was still covered in wonderful spectators and volunteers at aid stations. But for whatever reason, maybe because I was trying to focus so much, I don't remember or have much to say about the middle 9 miles. Nothing other than going up and down, and up and down... and up and down another hill. :)
Somewhere around the 9 mile marker, I took my first walk. My legs and brain were in a massive argument over what to do. Going for a major goal will hurt. I know this. I also felt like I could not possibly run another step. So I got off to the side and walked. But only for a second because that's when I realized the pacers were RIGHT behind me. I said, "Nope nope nope," out loud and began running again. About half a mile or so later it was another uphill where I slowed down and the pacers were right next to me. I said something to them about how I had hoped to stay ahead. The two were very sweet and encouraging, but I can't remember what they said. They passed me and all of a sudden I realized how badly I had actually wanted to break 2. Even as I was telling myself it was fine, that it could still happen, I felt my breathing get erratic- The beginnings of what I've started calling a running panic attack. No matter how much I tell myself it's ok, and how much try to breath, something else inside me takes over and I lose control. One of the pacers heard whatever noise I made and told me I was fine and that I'd pass them on the downhill. I fell a little further behind and she kept encouraging me. Then I started with the full on attack and she was saying something that I wish I could hear, but know she was telling me to keep going, in a way. Through tears and gasping breaths I said I was ok and let myself walk to get it together.
I have no idea how long it actually took. I feel like it wasn't too long. I could still see the pacers ahead of me, and the 2:05 pacers were still somewhere behind me. If I could stay ahead of them I'd still be doing better than I thought I would be doing when I started the race. Between the mile 10 marker and about 11 1/2 miles Scott and I ran, slower than we had been, but we ran. It felt like I was dragging. Little did I know that Scott had also began to struggle.
A little past 11 1/2 or so I was done. I had been replaying a moment in my head from the Little Rock marathon weekend 10k. I was going for a 10k PR. We had something like a mile left to go and I knew I had my PR. In fact, we were way ahead of what I needed to get it. So I told Scott we could slow down and still get the PR. He then said to me, "Why? Why wouldn't you push?" That memory helped for a little bit, but I truly felt like in that moment all I could give was a walk. When I walked, Scott said thank you. Turns out, we both needed it. We walked to the mile 12 marker. I'm not sure how long it was. It felt like a while, but I think it actually wasn't as long as we thought. We had just one mile left. 1.1 to be exact. And that was if we didn't go by our tracking devices. My watch had been measuring at least .1 ahead for about 3 miles already. We walked one more time a little past 12 1/2. Scott's heart rate was too high, and I'd rather walk the rest of the race, than have either of us be in that much pain or struggling. I can't say I felt better, but I did feel stronger. I don't know how that even makes sense, but it's how it was. Scott and I compliment each other so well. He helps me through the middle (and often times whole first half) and I help him through the last however much.
In that last mile, I was thinking MAYBE I'd still PR, but even if not, I knew it would be one of my better finishing times.
We made the last turn and I talked to Scott the whole way down the chute. Someone on the sidelines shouted Scott's name and I think that helped too. We crossed the line, and my favorite part of the whole race was here. Not finishing. But receiving my medal from one of the children I had just been running for. The kids who live on Soaring Wings Ranch are the ones who hand out the medals at the finish line. It's beyond special.
We snagged some snacks from the finisher's chute and then went to the tent where we could get a print out of our stats right away. That is when I found out I had definitely PR'd! Who knew, going into this hilly and humid race day, that I would actually set another personal record?! ...Lots of my supporters actually. They all have way more belief in my ability than I do. Apparently so did another participant. Just after I received my medal I heard someone say, "You made it!" I looked over and there was a lady who I had seen off and on along the course who seemed to possibly have the same goal of a sub 2 finish time as well. I realized she was talking to me and thanked her. She told me when the pacer group had passed me she saw me and was hoping I'd make it. We talked for a couple minutes and she hugged me. This, y'all, this is what the running community is about. I love it so much. I don't know this lady. But she was rooting for me when I didn't even know it. She made a point to say something to me when I finished. I wish I had thought to get her name. I did ask how she did. According to her Garmin she had just barely broke 2 hours. I told her that's what counted, but I happened to be behind her at the tent when she got her official time and loved watching her celebrate when she saw that she truly did break 2 hours. I wanted to jump up and down with her. These are the moments that matter.
Finishing stats:
Chip time- 2:01:35
Chip pace- 9:17
Overall place- 174 out of 867
Female age group place- 14 out of 89
Many things about today did not go the way the obsessive planner in me would have liked. From the weather, to my parents and kids only making it halfway before having to turn around and go home, to blisters (UGH!), but the one thing that did go right... The one thing that matters; my 13th half marathon. It just happens to be my favorite race. And I just happened to PR.
Lucky #13. ;)
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