St Jude Marathon, The Emotional Recap

Every runner hopes for a perfect start to their race day. If everything goes smoothly leading up to the starting line, it makes the run feel more doable. At least, this is my feeling. I'm known for being somewhat controlling and a huge planner. The plan was to sleep well, get up at 5:30 in order to leave by 6. Then drive the 30 or so minutes to downtown Memphis in order to park, walk to bag check, make a quick bathroom stop and find our coral by 7:15-7:30. With 18,000 people registered, we expected lines. Long ones. I wanted to allow plenty of time. It was a perfect plan. :) A series of frustrations that don't even matter, had us arriving about 7:15, and we still had to go through bag check, find the port-a-potty, and then walk the couple blocks to the starting line. Over the next 45 minutes we did manage to get everything taken care of, and still experience some of the event's activities. When we first arrived at AutoZone Park (our bag check area, and also where the finish line is located) we got to see the start of the 5k race. Seeing that from this side of things was really neat. I loved seeing all the excited runners and walkers! It was an especially nice pick-me-up. I'm also glad that everything was within a couple blocks of each other, otherwise I would have missed out on one of the most special Star Spangled Banner performances ever. I couldn't hear everything well, but from what I understand the girl who sang it was a past patient of St Jude. She sounded like she was 8 or 9 and has been in remission for 6 1/2 years! Reality check #1 for the day right there.

To tell the rest is hard. There were so many, SO MANY, emotions. Of course we were excited. It's hard not to be when you are surrounded by thousands of other people. There were 15 corals for the marathon, half marathon, and relay runners. We chose #9 based on our goal pace. Corals one and two were released fairly close to each other, and the rest were sent off in waves every 2 minutes or so. We crossed the start line at 8:16. All of a sudden the anxiety I had been feeling went away. I knew nothing had changed. I still had 26.2 miles to run, but all I felt was excitement. Our initial pace was significantly slower than we normally start off with. I knew the crowd wouldn't thin out any time soon so I accepted it, knew it wouldn't matter how long it took as long as I finished, and settled in for a good long run.

The first few miles went by somewhat quickly. I don't remember too much. Probably because it was quiet as far as spectators go. There were some in the first couple, but not many. By mile 2 we were down by the river.

This sneaky course had led us on a slow downhill and I hadn't even realized it. However, a little before mile 3 we turned and hit the first hill that I remember. It was only about 2 or 2 1/2 blocks, but it was very steep.

I should mention that I was prepared for a few hills. I had seen the elevation map and I had read a few reviews. For anyone reading who has never run a race, or is preparing for their first, hear this: Don't trust anything. lol One person's "few" is another person's "many". One person's "rolling hill" is another person's "mountain". Elevation maps aren't always accurate. Or rather, are not always as detailed as they could be. Case in point...

The top chart is the one I based my training on. It looked challenging, but not horrible. I expected some hills, but nothing too bad. The bottom is the chart made with Runkeeper and from our actual run. What I have learned is, yes, the trend is the same. Ish. However, in those red lines of the top one there are many, many, MANY, ups and downs. I was not prepared for that. I've been training since July and in that time I only did maybe 4 long runs on hard hills. Searcy has some slight rolling hills, but I have to go into specific neighborhoods if I want the steep and/or long ones. Anyway, that needed to be said because I'm not making stuff up when I say there were hills in every mile. Up and down, and up and down again. It seemed fairly constant. I'm sure part of that is just my delirious mind speaking, but it certainly felt that way.

Back to the first hill... So we leaned in and charged on. At the top we found ourselves heading into the heart of downtown Memphis. This is also the first I remember there being crowds of spectators. And those crowds continued for many miles. Around mile 4 1/2 or so I heard extra loud cheering. As we continued I realized we were about to enter the St Jude campus. I had heard this was an emotional race. Especially when you reach this part. No amount of reading or listening to other people talk about it can prepare you for the onslaught of emotions though. The families of the patients at the hospital, some even having their children who are the patients with them, are are the sidelines with smiles on their faces. Cheering louder than any of the other spectators through out the race. And there were some loud cheers through out. These families, who have gone through so much, are smiling. They are there telling US thank you. They were clapping, ringing cowbells, pounding boom sticks together, and sticking out their hands for high fives. It was more than I could handle. Running a race like this is hard. The mental and physical endurance needed is insane. It's easier to not complain when you keep in mind who you are running for. I had to remind myself many times of this in the later half of the race.

After we left the campus we had a long stretch on the same road. Turns make my runs seem faster, so a three mile stretch on the same road is daunting. It doesn't help when I can see thousands of people all those miles ahead of me. :) Again though, the spectators kept us going. I wasn't feeling bad at this point. I was enjoying the race. Somewhere in mile 6 we passed the 4:40 pacers- the people who were guiding anyone who hoped to finish the marathon in 4 hours and 40 minutes. I was surprised by this. My initial goal was to just finish the race, but my second and true goal was to finish in 5 hours or less. So to pass this pacer was exciting!

At mile 8 we turned into a park that goes through, or around (not sure which), the Memphis Zoo. We left the park a little before mile 10 and spent the next couple miles on a pretty busy main street. The runners basically had the width of a shoulder and one lane to run on. We were going against the traffic, and there were cones as guides to keep us on the "course", but it still made me a little uneasy. It was on this part of the course that we passed a girl who was probably 19 or 20. Her sign said, "Because of runners like you, I am a survivor!" We caught each other's eye and I gave hear a tearful but smiling nod and she smiled and nodded back. Is it possible to feel a connection to someone you have never met, and will never see again? I did. I wish I knew her.

The next mile and a half or so was more of the same. Fabulous sideline support and happy runners. We passed the half marathon split and the next thing I knew we were at mile 13. Half way done! I was starting to feel the distance, but also still feeling pretty good. As good as one can feel after 13 miles anyway. :)

We were almost to mile 15 when a lady in front of us tripped on a tiny crack in the road. She flew forward and it looked like she smacked her face on the road. Scott and I, and a couple other girls stopped to help her up and make sure she was ok. I think it scared us all more than anything. The way she fell looked really bad. She was fine. Obviously shaken, but she didn't have a single scratch. She made a comment about thinking she had been doing so well. I reassured her she had been doing great, and would continue to do so. The other girls kept reassuring her she didn't have a mark on her and that she could finish. The lady assured us she was ok and told us to go on. I felt bad leaving her, but she was moving ok and there was nothing else we could do. I thought about her a lot the rest of the time. I wish I knew her name so I could make sure she was able to finish.

It was around mile 18 that I hit a wall. And by "hit a wall" I mean slammed, face first, into this imaginary, gargantuan and sludge filled, cement block. And that's where I left my happy attitude for way too long. For the next 4 or 5 miles I did too much grumbling. Any spectator that said something positive was met with tears or a mental "almost done? really? I don't see YOU out here". I hated myself for that. They WERE out there. It was not optimal spectator weather. I was cold, so I knew they had to be even more so. And yet, there they were cheering us on, or working an aid station handing out water and other helpful things, and I was being rude. Not to their face. Never. That's not an excuse though. I was in a major funk. Through mile 11 we had only done a quick walk through a water station every two miles, and then after that we were walking through each water station (about every mile or so). Around mile 18 I started walking in the middle of the miles too. Scott, always my rock, said anything we needed to do was fine. If I wanted to walk a mile, or even the rest of the race, that was fine. Every time he'd say something I'd attempt a thank you but gripe about wanting to finish. I believe it was somewhere in mile 22 during one of the walks that I apologized for complaining and Scott said he didn't care, he was just happy to be experiencing all this with me. I cried a little and then told myself to knock it off. If he can love me through this, then I can shut my mouth, remember the kids I was running for and finish the race. I never once wanted to quit, but there were times I wasn't sure I'd make it.

Normally when I'm in the back end of a long run I find I'm mentally stronger. Especially if I'm with someone else. Once my mile countdown gets into the single digits I feel like I can do anything. I was at mile 23 before I felt something close to that. We were still walking a couple times in each mile, but the feeling of not making it had gone away. I knew I'd make it. I didn't know what my time would be. I didn't care. Somewhere in my funk the 4:40 pacer passed us. When we first passed her I thought maybe we would beat even the small goal I had set. I didn't feel defeated when she passed back by. I think 4:40 would have been setting my goal way too high for this being my first running marathon. (Or likely any marathon.) It was at that point that she passed us that I knew we had slowed significantly though. We were using RunKeeper to track the run, but only to have it as reference for later, not for keeping track of our miles or pace while running. I truly had no idea what our time or pace was. There were clocks at almost every mile, but since we didn't cross the start line when the clocks started I knew they weren't correct for our time, and there was no way I was going to attempt the math in my head while trying to focus on putting one foot in front of the other. I did have a feeling that we would be finishing somewhere over 5 hours, but at this point, that was ok. I would just be happy we finished.

Mile 24 brought us back through the St Jude campus and while that crowd had gotten quite a bit smaller, the enthusiasm of those who were there had not. I think this second pass through was strategically placed at just the right part of the course. We were all tired. Not just Scott and I, but you could see it in the faces and body language of the other runners around us also. Passing through St Jude gave us the boost we needed. Sure, we still walked. Quite a bit in those last two miles actually, but I was ready to finish the race strong.

The crowds had thinned out after the half marathon split, but in the last mile there were more people again. Once we reached mile 26 it was packed. The last .26 of the race had so many spectators you couldn't see the sidewalk. At least that's how I remember it. We had a couple short turns into the finisher's chute and there it was. The finish line.

My normal finish line adrenaline kicked in and Scott and I went for it. In that last stretch there were no spectators because we were finishing on a baseball field and they were all watching from the stands. None, except for 5 soldiers. They stood along the metal guides that lined the chute, one after the other. Every one of them held out his hand for a high five. Every one of them thanked me for running. THEY thanked ME. Through tears I said thank you back. How can these men who serve our country be thanking me, a simple runner?

I wanted to grab Scott's hand as we crossed the finish line. I wanted to raise them up high. I wanted to celebrate. Apparently after we crossed I kept running. Scott said he thought I wasn't going to stop. I don't think it was as far as he felt like it was, but I do remember I almost forgot to get my medal. :) Our chip time was 4:53:13 with an average pace of 11:11/mile. Almost 7 minutes faster than I had hoped for!! We stopped in the middle of the field to catch our breath and take it all in. That's when it all really hit. All the anxiety, all the excitement, the sadness AND happiness for the St Jude families, the extreme pain I was in, the hunger- oh, the hunger lol, the realization of what we had just accomplished! I started crying. I'd take a few steps and get it under control, and then it would hit again. It felt like forever, but I know it was only a few minutes before I thought I had control. We took a finish line selfie. :)

Usually at other races it's too crowded when we finish, and we are quickly ushered out of the area, but since we were on a large field it was nice to be able to take our time and see things from a different point of view. We congratulated other runners who passed by and snagged one to take a real picture for us.

Then we made our way to the professional photographer who took our official finisher's photo. (It's one of my favorites! :) ) We asked the photographer where the finisher's food was and he laughed but pointed the way... up the stairs. I thought he was kidding. He was not. We had to get off the field and make our way up to the main concourse area. I made a joke with the security guy who was standing mid way, one I'm sure he heard from the thousands of other runners who made their way up, and then we were there. Two amazingly wonderful ladies were standing there handing out bags. BAGS! When I looked at one of them, she said, "It's for your food!" We were allowed to get as much as we wanted. I've never been given a bag for food at the end of a race. Knowing we had a two hour drive home, but also not wanting to be rude and crazy, we stocked up on a few things and then started making our way towards the bag check area. However, that's when we smelled pizza. Free pizza. By the box if we wanted. Oh yes, we wanted. :) Then donuts. Free donuts. By the dozen if we wanted. Oh goodness. There may or may not have been more tears at this point. lol

With our arms loaded up, and my bag retrieved from bag check, we made our way back to the truck. I know I've said so much already, but there's so much more than should be said about this race. Scott and I keep talking about it. The difficulty of the course (which for some was probably one of the easier courses they have run), but also, and more than anything, how fantastic everything else was. The aid stations were fully stocked with necessities. The food at the finish line was so much more than we expected. The sideline support, I've said it many times, but it was truly amazing. I don't expect to forget how I feel after any of my races, but this is definitely one that leaves a lasting impression.

Also worth mentioning is our wonderful support team who could not be at the race physically. My parents, and at least a few others I know of, were following the live tracking that was available (another huge plus for this race!). Even though my parents and our kids couldn't be at the race, I knew they were cheering us on from home. The occasional text from my dad was the next best thing to him being on the sidelines screaming our names. :-D

Now that I'm done, I'm looking forward to a week off of running. I have run 3-4 days a week, every week, since July. That's a lot of running! It will be nice, but short lived. I start all over again next week for the Walt Disney World Princess Half!

This is the life of a running addict. :-D